BUILDING THE FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION SYSTEM
WEEK 1
MONDAY THOUGHT: I am genuinely fond of my partner
TASK: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable.
TUESDAY THOUGHT: I can easily speak of the good times in our marriage
TASK: Pick one good time and write a sentence about it.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT: I can easily remember romantic, special times in our relationship.
TASK: Pick one such time and think about it.
THURSDAY THOUGHT: I am physically attracted to my partner.
TASK:Think of one physical attribute you like
FRIDAY THOUGHT:My partner has specific qualities that make me proud.
TASK:Write down one characteristic that makes you proud.
WEEK 2
MONDAY THOUGHT:I feel a genuine sense of “we†as opposed to “I†in this relationship.
TASK: Think of one thing that you both have in common.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:We have the same general beliefs and values.
TASK:Describe one belief you share.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:We have common goals.
TASK:List one such goal.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:My partner is my best friend.
TASK:What secret about you does your spouse know?
FRIDAY THOUGHT:I get lots of support in this relationship
TASK:Think of a time when your spouse was very supportive of you.
WEEK 3
MONDAY THOUGHT:My partner helps me to reduce stress.
TASK:List one time when your spouse helped you reduce stress.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:I can easily recall the first we met.
TASK:Write a sentence describing what you remember.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:I remember many details about deciding to get married.
TASK:Write a sentence describing what you remember.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:I can recall our engagement
TASK:Write a sentence about what you remember
FRIDAY THOUGHT:We divide up tasks in a fair way.
TASK:Describe one way you do this on a regular basis. (If you do not do your share decide on a task to take on.
WEEK 4
MONDAY THOUGHT:We are able to plan well and have a sense of control over our lives together.
TASK:Describe one thing that you both planned together.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:I am proud of this relationship.
TASK:List two things about this marriage that you are proud of.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT: I am proud of my future spouse.
TASK:Recall a specific time you felt this pride.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:I don’t like things about my partner, but I can live with them.
TASK:What is one of these minor faults you have adapted to?
FRIDAY THOUGHT:This relationship is a lot better than most I have seen.
TASK:Think of a marriage you know that’s awful.
WEEK 5
MONDAY THOUGHT:I was really lucky to meet my partner
TASK: List one benefit that being in relationship with your partner offers.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:Marriage is sometimes a struggle but it’s worth it.
TASK:Think of one difficulty thing that you have weathered together so far.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT: There is a lot of affection between us.
TASK:Plan a surprise gift for your partner for tonight.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:We are genuinely interested in one another.
TASK:Think of something to do or talk about that would be interesting.
FRIDAY THOUGHT:We find one another to be good companions.
TASK:Plan an outing together.
WEEK 6
MONDAY THOUGHT:There is a lot of healthy living in my relationship.
TASK: Think of a special trip you took together.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:My partner is an interesting person.
TASK:Plan something to ask your partner about that interests the both of you.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:We respond well to each other.
TASK:Write a letter to your partner and mail it.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:If I had to do it all over again. I would still plan to marry the same person.
TASK:Plan an engagement anniversary outing.
FRIDAY THOUGHT:There is a lot of mutual respect in my relationship.
TASK:Consider taking a class together (ballroom dancing, horseback riding, etc) Or tell your partner about a time when you recently admired something he or she did.
WEEK 7
MONDAY THOUGHT:Our time together is usually quite satisfying.
TASK:Plan a romantic evening together.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:We have come a long way together.
TASK:Think of all you have accomplished as a team.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:I think we can weather any storm together.
TASK:Reminisce about having made it through a hard time.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:We enjoy each other’s sense of humor.
TASK:Rend a comedy video or dvd and watch together.
FRIDAY THOUGHT:My partner is very beautiful/handsome
TASK:Get dressed up for an elegant evening together. Or plan another kind of evening out.
MONDAY THOUGHT: I am genuinely fond of my partner
TASK: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable.
TUESDAY THOUGHT: I can easily speak of the good times in our marriage
TASK: Pick one good time and write a sentence about it.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT: I can easily remember romantic, special times in our relationship.
TASK: Pick one such time and think about it.
THURSDAY THOUGHT: I am physically attracted to my partner.
TASK:Think of one physical attribute you like
FRIDAY THOUGHT:My partner has specific qualities that make me proud.
TASK:Write down one characteristic that makes you proud.
WEEK 2
MONDAY THOUGHT:I feel a genuine sense of “we†as opposed to “I†in this relationship.
TASK: Think of one thing that you both have in common.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:We have the same general beliefs and values.
TASK:Describe one belief you share.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:We have common goals.
TASK:List one such goal.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:My partner is my best friend.
TASK:What secret about you does your spouse know?
FRIDAY THOUGHT:I get lots of support in this relationship
TASK:Think of a time when your spouse was very supportive of you.
WEEK 3
MONDAY THOUGHT:My partner helps me to reduce stress.
TASK:List one time when your spouse helped you reduce stress.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:I can easily recall the first we met.
TASK:Write a sentence describing what you remember.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:I remember many details about deciding to get married.
TASK:Write a sentence describing what you remember.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:I can recall our engagement
TASK:Write a sentence about what you remember
FRIDAY THOUGHT:We divide up tasks in a fair way.
TASK:Describe one way you do this on a regular basis. (If you do not do your share decide on a task to take on.
WEEK 4
MONDAY THOUGHT:We are able to plan well and have a sense of control over our lives together.
TASK:Describe one thing that you both planned together.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:I am proud of this relationship.
TASK:List two things about this marriage that you are proud of.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT: I am proud of my future spouse.
TASK:Recall a specific time you felt this pride.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:I don’t like things about my partner, but I can live with them.
TASK:What is one of these minor faults you have adapted to?
FRIDAY THOUGHT:This relationship is a lot better than most I have seen.
TASK:Think of a marriage you know that’s awful.
WEEK 5
MONDAY THOUGHT:I was really lucky to meet my partner
TASK: List one benefit that being in relationship with your partner offers.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:Marriage is sometimes a struggle but it’s worth it.
TASK:Think of one difficulty thing that you have weathered together so far.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT: There is a lot of affection between us.
TASK:Plan a surprise gift for your partner for tonight.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:We are genuinely interested in one another.
TASK:Think of something to do or talk about that would be interesting.
FRIDAY THOUGHT:We find one another to be good companions.
TASK:Plan an outing together.
WEEK 6
MONDAY THOUGHT:There is a lot of healthy living in my relationship.
TASK: Think of a special trip you took together.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:My partner is an interesting person.
TASK:Plan something to ask your partner about that interests the both of you.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:We respond well to each other.
TASK:Write a letter to your partner and mail it.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:If I had to do it all over again. I would still plan to marry the same person.
TASK:Plan an engagement anniversary outing.
FRIDAY THOUGHT:There is a lot of mutual respect in my relationship.
TASK:Consider taking a class together (ballroom dancing, horseback riding, etc) Or tell your partner about a time when you recently admired something he or she did.
WEEK 7
MONDAY THOUGHT:Our time together is usually quite satisfying.
TASK:Plan a romantic evening together.
TUESDAY THOUGHT:We have come a long way together.
TASK:Think of all you have accomplished as a team.
WEDNESDAY THOUGHT:I think we can weather any storm together.
TASK:Reminisce about having made it through a hard time.
THURSDAY THOUGHT:We enjoy each other’s sense of humor.
TASK:Rend a comedy video or dvd and watch together.
FRIDAY THOUGHT:My partner is very beautiful/handsome
TASK:Get dressed up for an elegant evening together. Or plan another kind of evening out.